~Quotes~

Abbey; You chose this; both of you. You’re running a country, for God’s sake, not a tree house!
 
Jed; Well, Leo stays in the tree house if he wants to. We’ll work around his recovery; half-days, whatever it takes.
 
Abbey; He’s not going to work half days. He’s not going to work around his recovery. He’s not going to do whatever it takes.
 
Jed; That’s his decision.
 
Abbey; And we know what that decision is going to be.
 
Jed; So I should wake him up and fire him again? Because it worked so well the first time?
 
Abbey; Let’s talk about this time. You’ve got to keep him out of that job. He’ll kill himself for you if you don’t.


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Jed (to Abbey): I could jump you right now.

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Jed: We didn't get a chance to talk last night.
Abbey: I don't think we should talk.
Jed: EVER?!
Abbey: Oh, if wishing made it so Jed.

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Abbey (to Jed in a fury): Let me tell you something, Jackass!

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Jed; C.J., on your tombstone, it's gonna read, 'Post hoc, ergo propter hoc.'
CJ; Okay, but none of my visitors are going to be able to understand my tombstone.
Jed; Twenty-seven lawyers in the room, anybody know 'post hoc, ergo propter hoc?'
Josh?
Josh; Uh, uh, post, after, after hoc, ergo, therefore, after hoc, therefore,
something else hoc.
Jed (a bit annoyed); Thank you. Next?

I just think this is hilarious, because CJ is so dry about it and highly confused, and Josh is just...well Josh. I love it!

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Josh (staring at the President); He doesn't look so good.
CJ; Yeah.
Josh: He's pale and he's sweating.
CJ: I know.

Josh; You think he's getting sick?
CJ: I don't know.
Josh; Are his glands swollen?
CJ (dramatically); Damn!
Josh (concerned); What?
You know what I forgot to do today?
Josh; What?
CJ: I forgot to feel the President's glands.

Again, cracks me up everytime!

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Jed (while Abbey is using her stethascope on him); Here's the thing though. I never really saw you study while you were in med-school.
Abbey: Deep breath.
Jed; Do you even know what you're listening for right now? Abbey (annoyed); Do you know how many other people I could have married?
Jed (while exhaling like she asks); How many?

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Abbey; You pulled me out of the Womens' Caucus.
Jed: No need to thank me. Whatever happened to Mrs. Wilburforce?
Abbey: She moved to Miami and took up massage.
Jed: (astonished) Really?
Abbey; Last I heard.
Jed: What the hell are you talking about?
Abbey (shocked at his reaction); You're the one who asked me...
Jed: Wasn't Mrs. Wilberforce our cat?
Abbey (very annoyed); She was our housekeeper!

C'mon! That makes me laugh just typing it!

Abbey; Am I dreaming, or are you talking to me about foreign policy? You're not worried the sky's gonna fall down?
Jed: No, but I am concerned about spousal abuse.

Seriously, could their conversation be any funnier? These two crack me up!

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Abbey (referring to Jed's health to his aide, Charlie) It doesn't matter. Your electrolytes and metabolic panels are within normal limits, chest x-rays are clear, and prostate screens are fine.
Charlie: Okay.
Abbey (bluntly, and with great joy); So...we can have sex now.
Charlie (looks up at her with surprize); Okay, that's not me and you now, right?

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Abbey (informing Jed how they will gain time to have sex before she leaves town for a few hours); So you talk to Charlie. I'll talk to Lilly. We'll co-ordinate our schedules and we'll find a free hour.
Jed (grabs Abbey's waist and pulls her toward him); I don't think it's gonna take more than a couple of minutes, but I like your confidence.
Abbey (laughs at her husband's joke); Just get back to work.
Jed (pulling her closer and tighter against his chest), with a growl; Can't we just close the curtains?
Abbey (chuckling); Just get back to work...

Jed kisses her before she pulls away and exits the office, leaving him all hot and bothered.

MORE TO COME!